“Have you seen my menstrual cup?”
As parents, we have all said sentences that we never thought we would. This sentence was not even on my remotest possibility radar until I was desperately asking my husband those exact words when my first postpartum period after baby number four popped up out of nowhere earlier this week.
I remember boiling it the last time I used it. (Yes, it is funny popping a menstrual cup into a pot on the stove like you’re whipping up a batch of Thai tea, but we have to STERILIZE [using my Sgt. Doakes voice, of course].) Then we had some unexpected company and I threw it in the bread cabinet. And forgot about it….until my two year old decided that the bread cabinet is now where he hides his toys.
I have a vague memory of him carrying off my menstrual cup like a little bell and that’s about where I lose track. Did he put it back in the bread cabinet? Maybe. But then he must have taken it again because it’s not there. Did he put it in a toy basket and some unwitting grandparent looked at it sideways and said “what the …. ” and toss it back in there? Did he manage to flush it down the toilet when he was going through that phase? No clue. It’s probably somewhere in our house that we’re preparing to move out of at the end of the year, squeezed into some random tiny space that we will never find until we have a house full of movers and it just drops out of a piece of furniture in front of them, staring up at me like “why, Spongebob, why?!” But, hey, it’s whatever.
Luckily, I am PREPARED. I have pads, tampons, incontinence undies and a backup menstrual cup. If you’ve ever seen Turning Red, it’s like that scene where Ming whips out that huge box of pads and goes off down the list, “regular, overnight, unscented, scented, thin, ultra-thin, ultra-thin with wings…” That. Is. Me.
Or was, when I was an extreme couponer. Yes, I still have the basics stocked mostly for when I have company and they’re in need of some product they forgot at home but I mostly now just use my menstrual cup and period panties.
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